A Male’s Perspective on A Woman’s Rant

Men Are Just Happier People, What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
Thank goodness it’s not a weird one, else I would rather have yours.

The garage is all yours.
Guess whose junk is in it?

Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Unfortunately the bill doesn’t.

Chocolate is just another snack.
We have beer bellies, you don’t have chocolate hips.

You can be Prime Minister.
In today’s era, so could you.

You can never be pregnant.
And you’ll never have to put up with extreme hormonal changes.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
I’d rather not, to be honest.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Isn’t that the whole idea of going to a water park? Get your swimsuit on!

Car mechanics tell you the truth.
That’s what you think.

The world is your urinal.
I can’t believe you even mentioned that.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
Yes you do, if you’re going for No. 2.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
I just pretend that I turned it the wrong way intentionally.

Same work, more pay.
Rubbish!

Wrinkles add character.
I think you need your eyes checked.

Wedding dress rentals cost more than Tux rentals.
You can complain about this when you’re the one paying for it.

People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
You obviously don’t have a six-pack.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Who are your sources, Woman? Mine hurt like crazy!

One mood all the time.
Sombre.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
That’s because they don’t want to speak to me.

You know stuff about tanks.
Actually, no I don’t.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
But you don’t wear half your clothes!

You can open all your own jars.
Sometimes, with the help of a rubber band.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Have you ever heard of masculinism? No.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Because I don’t overreact?

Your underwear is RM20 for a three-pack.
Saves us more money for your fancy lingerie.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
I have my running shoes, golf shoes, leather shoes, football boots, sneakers…

You almost never have strap problems in public.
You will never have zipper mishap down south.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
I trust my wife’s ironing skills.

Everything on your face stays its original color.
If that were true, they wouldn’t be developing skincare products for men.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
That’s because we can’t get our hair done like yours.

You only have to shave your face and neck.
You don’t have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.
You can play dress up all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes–One colour for all seasons.
Do they give us any choice, really?

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
It’s really too hot to wear anything else.

You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
Because having a manicure makes you look queer.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You don’t really want a moustache, though, do you?

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
Hurray for RM5 shops!

No wonder men are happier.
You’re still on that?

Do you really feel that way about men?

Maybe you can both be happier by strengthening your relationship.

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