Malaysian women overstressed and under-appreciated
Image courtesy of newvoe.blogspot.com
Ladies, what do you think is the most stressful job in Malaysia? According to clinical psychologist Dr Paul Jambunathan, it’s the working mother, and statistics have shown that her health is taking a big hit due to stress. In an interview with the New Straits Times in early March, Dr Jambunathan commented on how the women of this country wear “too many hats,” which ultimately leads to stress. Stress, he states, directly affects the immune system and therefore the more stressed a woman is, the easier it is for her to fall ill.
But what are working mothers stressed about? Well, apart from the stress of juggling the demands of her job and the demands of her household, Dr Jambunathan says women are also getting stressed over “what they feel they ought to be and trying to fulfill expectations.” As we all know, women have a need to nurture and to make sure that everything is alright, but with so much going on in our lives, it’s hard to do well in all aspects. With things like work, motherhood, sexuality, finances and relationships weighing heavy on our minds, isn’t it hard not to snap?
Also, to be able to cope with the stress, women need to talk and share. Unfortunately, our hectic lives mean that there’s very little communication happening in the home these days between partners. Dr Jambunathan points out the decline in the level of the 3As at home – affection, attention and appreciation. The result – women do so much and yet feel under-appreciated.
So if a working mother’s overstressed from managing the office and home, should she just quit her job and opt to be a stay at home mother? While this has proven to be a solution for some women, it’s not for everyone. Many women feel even more stressed out contemplating this, as it would be difficult to survive on one income, and the monotony of staying at home may just drive some women up the wall.
The solution, says Dr Jambunathan, is to try and strike a balance. You can start doing this by listing down your priorities, because once you’ve figured out what’s important to you, your actions will follow. Women must also remember to put their health and families first, as health and love is a crucial part of every individual’s wellbeing.
Additionally, we at Venus feel that women should stop beating themselves up when they feel they don’t measure up to expectations. So what if we’re not perfect mothers? So what if we don’t have the ideal body? So what if we’re not vixens in bed? So what if we argue with our husbands? So what if we make a mistake at work? We’re only human! Why waste precious energy on fulfilling “expectations” when we could be living our lives? As Dr Seuss once said, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Lastly, as women, we often pride ourselves on our ability to multi-task, but let’s not ignore the toll that it could be taking.
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