Features,  Love & Sex

Porn Damages Women’s Self-Esteem

All these years, it has always been ‘but babe, it’s just porn!’. Followed by a long and winded explanation on how porn is just natural to men. Like shopping for women, some say. Porn is a topic so sensitive it has caused fights for lovebirds, even longtime married couple.

Deriving from the cliche ‘men are from Mars, women are from Venus’ notion, our male counterparts do not equal ‘sex’ with ‘love’. Unlike women who define orgasmic sexual intercourse with love, men could get involved in intercourse without loving the partner. Love and sex – simply belong to two different pages.

While some women have come to terms with it, some others constantly wonder – have I not given him enough that he has to recourse to porn? A recent research by LiveScience shows that women who are in a relationship with men who openly watch porn, are less happy. Besides eating women’s self-esteem up, their sex lives are disturbed knowing that their male partners resource to visual imageries for sexual arousal.

Destin Stewart, a clinical psychology intern at the University of Florida, who conducted the research, asked 308 students aged 18 to 29 about the linkage of porn and self-esteem & sexual satisfaction. When asked to rate the overall relationship satisfaction – the women whose partners often watch porn are generally unhappy. Previous studies have shown that men who are frequent porn watchers grow to prefer visual imageries to real life physical contacts. There is also a tendency to wish for their women counterparts to look and act like the porn stars.

To overcome these deep-rooted problems, Stewart advise for couples to have a sit down and discuss about porn involvement in their relationships.

“It’s just about trying to do some education about what is realistic and unrealistic and trying to get couples to be honest about what their wants and needs and desires are,” she said.

In Asian countries like Malaysia, porn is an even more complicated matter because culture and religious values are strongly involved. Most parents would not allow their children to consume porn, thus making porn a forbidden material at any ages. Islam sees porn as faahisha (indecent) alongside adultery.

credits: LiveScience, Central Mosque

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