Love & Sex,  Relationships

Why Do Couples Fall Out Of Love

You’ve lost that loving feeling. Why is this happening?

Love is a very confusing feeling. Falling out of love can be as perplexing as falling in love. Where you once felt deep affection has now turned into dread. You find yourself questioning and reasoning about everything.

Fact is the love bubble do burst and sometimes people fall out of love. Here are some cold truths why:

Passion fades

One of the common reasons why couples fall out of love is because they no longer feel passionate about the person they’re with. When you both get caught up in your protective and controlling habits, it won’t be long before your excitement for each other start to diminish.

Passion can only stay alive in a relationship when each partner is open to accepting and learning. Meaning you accept the flaws and learn about yourself and each other as it creates aliveness, so your relationship is always fresh and you can maintain a level of intimacy.

Fear

The first time you feel a connection with someone, you operate on an ‘openness’ level where you share “you” at your best – loving, caring, thoughtful, fun to be with, etc. But as time goes by, things happen that trigger fears – of losing your partner and losing yourself.

Perhaps then, you go into a fear of rejection mode. You become more demanding or clingy and your partner feels the need to withdraw himself to protect against his fear of being controlled or smothered. Fear then takes on as a vicious cycle of protecting rather than learning, growing and sharing your love with each other.

Controlling behaviour

When you are stuck in a negative pattern, you tend to adopt a selfish and controlling behaviour. You may feel the need to protect yourself in ways that involve anger, blame, attack, defensiveness, withdrawal, compliance, resistance or indifference.

No relationship can survive if you are using anger or blame to try to have some degree of control over your partner.

Unresolved conflicts

Too much drama can certainly have a negative effect on a couple as love cannot flourish when resentment takes over. When one or both of you are closed and stubborn in your own ways, conflict won’t get solved and the relationship feels exhausting after a while.

It can’t be stressed how important conflict resolution is to build a steady and understanding relationship. This is when you have your own and your partner’s good at heart, you are willing to take responsibility of your feelings.

Lack of affection

It’s normal to get used to the people we’re with or the routine of being with someone. But when you take each other for granted, you can’t assume that love is forever. What you need to realise is that body language plays a significant role and speaks volumes about a relationship.

Physical intimacy is what keeps the attraction towards each other strong. When emotional and sexual disconnections become the norm, the relationship suddenly feels stale and flat, and you may turn cold towards your partner.

 via: Huffington Post, Canadian Living, YouQueen

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