Dating used to a lot less complicated and also, more straightforward. It can also be a bit of a jungle out there for some of us.
Dating is sometimes harder than it should be, and frankly, after certain dates, you’d want to throw the napkin at your date’s face or just go get a drink because you so damn well deserve it enduring that horrendous date! But when dating is done right, it can be amazing. And often, those right kind of dates lead to wonderful relationships.
With these dating tips, it’ll help you survive the first date and hopefully, you’ll have a second one!
1. No pressure
Don’t hold yourself up to a high standard of perfection. A lot of us can be perfectionists in our lives and that can unfortunately come into our love lives. Remind yourself that you’re a great person to be with. It is impossible to keep up with appearances if you’re trying to be someone else and try to become what your date is looking for.
Be yourself. Show your true authentic side and be confident. Your date will get a true sense of who you are and if it jives well with your date, it will naturally progress to something more. So don’t try to someone you’re not. Be yourself, own it and be proud if being just you.
2. Agree to blind dates set up by friends
Be open to being set up by friends. No one knows you better than good friends. And if your friends love and care for you, they will certainly not set you up with someone totally inappropriate and that it’ll be with someone who they can vouch for.
However, be wise when it comes to blind dates. Lay down some rules. State what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not willing to accept, but do be reasonable as this is a first date! Make it clear to your friends that the way the date goes is not a reflection of them or of you or even of the person they are setting you up with. Chemistry between two people is very important and sometimes it’s there and sometimes, it isn’t. You cannot force chemistry so if it goes well, great! But if doesn’t, that’s fine too.
3. Don’t stay glued to your mobile phone
We’ve seen couples be at dinner but not be with each other. Each of them are on their own mobile phones and not even talking to each other. Horrific! Don’t be like these couples and really if you’re looking for a relationship, one of the top ways of showing someone you’re not interested in them is by being on your phone! So stop facebooking, tweeting, instagramming, etc. Stopping for that short period of time won’t kill you.
Talk to the person and turn your phone on silent mode. Give your date your full attention and don’t check your phone unless you absolutely have to do so. It’s rude to keep checking your phone when you’re with someone. It shows disinterest in the other person and gives an impression that you’d rather be elsewhere. So be phone free on that first date, it’ll give you time to really get to know the person.
4. First impressions count
First impressions are important. It actually only takes a person a very short amount of time to decide if you’re interested in the other person or for them to decide whether they like you or not. So, bring on your best A-game the moment the date starts.
Make eye contact, smile, focus on what he’s saying and participate in the conversation. If you make a great first impression, it’s highly likely that there will be a second date. But don’t forget to also enjoy the date. Naturally, if you find that you don’t really like the person, don’t be rude. Be civil and kind. Good karma will come round!
5. No oversharing
Avoid oversharing at all costs! Certain people have this weird tendency to talk too much when they’re nervous. So be alert and check yourself that you don’t overshare. That’s definitely a sure way to guarantee your date will want to run a mile away from you!
Learn to censor yourself and keep to general topics. Don’t bring up your ex or ask about their past relationships! If you’re already starting to get serious about each other, that’s a different story but when it’s a first date, it needs to be casual yet comfortable for both parties.
6. Pay attention to how you speak to each other & to their body language
Talking is all well and good but pay attention to how it’s being said to you. If the person is into you, you’ll find that they tend to use similar words to what you use and that their tone of voice is calm. When they speak to you, you can clearly see signs that they are interested in what you have to say and of course, there is a lot of eye contact with you. Learn to read their body language as body language can show signs of attraction.
Having eye contact with you shows that they are giving you priority and if their body tends to face towards you and not away from you, it shows that they are interested in getting to know you and that they want to be included in your “space”.
7. If you don’t succeed, try and try again
Dating can be tiresome at times but it’s also a way of learning about ourselves and to really find out what you want in a partner. You don’t have to go on a dating marathon but it is important to get out there, especially if you’re fixed in your ways or stuck in a dating rut.
If you want a relationship, be proactive about it. Be open and don’t let prejudice get in your way of getting to know people. And if the dates don’t go so well, that’s fine as it’s a learning experience. It doesn’t mean you give up. Try again. You never know, the right person may be just around the corner.
8. Don’t play it too cool
Yes, don’t be such a cool cat! Your date can’t mind read and needs to know if you’re actually interested or not. Men are more attracted to responsive women, especially to women who are kind and warm right from the start. Now, that doesn’t mean you go all out and go a bit too eager, i.e. you don’t have to laugh at his jokes if they’re not funny or be agreeable if their points of view are just not in tuned with yours.
It does help to give your date a clue if you like the person or not by being responsive in a timely manner, such as telling your date how much fun you’re having or that you’re enjoying the meal and what a pleasant surprise this date is for you. Being nice is definitely a turn on so forget about playing it cool! Be warm and hopefully, that first date will turn into something more.