Most people share the same notion when it comes to romance, the lovey-dovey image of a couple enjoying the company of one another. That, however, is just a single scene and not the whole story.
Not every relationship is a Hollywood movie, no doubt that there are some in the world, but they’re far and few in between. In reality, it takes work to have a successful relationship. After the initial glow of passion fades away, what you are often left with is a work in progress, not the end product.
Most couples argue; event in Hollywood romantic movies, there’s always a part of the movie where the characters will have to confront an uncomfortable situation. But we do see arguments in a negative light, don’t we? Arguments do have a positive or rather a more beneficial side to it. Let take a look…
Arguments are often set off by a disagreement of opinion. They can be a sign that you and your partner are open to engaging in a heated debate with one another. Confronting issues rather than hiding then and brewing emotions of resentment.
More often than not, we would learn new things whether positive or negative about both our partners and ourselves. This in turns allows for growth, sometimes a personal growth or a growth in a relationship.
A study conducted in India showed that 44% of couples believe that arguing can help keeps the lines of communication open
Psychology Today, list arguing (not fighting) as one of the keys to a healthy and happy relationship. All of us know that keeping things bottled up isn’t healthy, with a partner that allows you to have open lines of communication, results in a much less stressful relationship (see Open Communication)
Shows That You’re An Individuals
The ability to argue shows that you are really an individual. Not someone with ‘no’ personality that just goes along with anything. Unless that is what you and your partner want, it doesn’t boat well in a relationship.
Having the believes and values of your own are valuable to your relationship. Sharing and learning from one another is part of the whole experience and makes it exciting.
The Relationship Means Something to You.
We as humans will only argue about things that matter to us. You wouldn’t jump in an argument over something you couldn’t give a hoot about would you? So arguing can be a sign that you care about the relationship, where it’s going, and that you’re willing to fight for it.
Getting Pass Arguments
Though arguments can have a beneficial side, how you get to pass an argument is a highly important aspect. Pushing egos aside, being tolerant and understanding whilst keeping an open mind, will all help in your relationship.
If you are able to get pass arguments in a matured and understanding manner, you and your partner have the ability to resolve issues. This is highly important for a long term relationship, issues will arise one time or another, and it’s important to be able to handle them with respect and care for one another.
You Keep It Real
Though romance and relationships go hand in hand, there is a difference between romance and romanticizing reality. Understanding that romance is fleeting and comes and goes in a relationship is as real as it gets. After the initial passion fades, there will be many issues to face, a person that understands that reality, will have a higher chance at a healthier and happier relationship.
There is a difference between arguing and fighting. Arguing is non-combative, raising points without raising your voice or name-calling (from psychology today). This shows the maturity of a person. If you and your partner are matured enough to have a respectful argument, you would also have mutual respect for one another.
When we argue we show a different side to our personality. Often times this side has no hidden truths, its full-on and full out, expressive emotions. Seeing each other in a different light over an argument is not an easy thing. But it will allow both you and your partner to fully accept one another.
It is important to note the difference between arguing and fighting (see Maturity). Couples that are able to argue and not have it escalate to a fight have a good chance of a healthier and happier relationship.