Dear Dr. Venus,
I can’t seem to forget my ex. He was the love of my life and somehow we drifted and eventually broke up. Then I realized later I still had feelings for him. It has been two years now and I still wonder if there is a chance for us to be together again, although he is with someone now. He still tries to stay in touch, but it is too painful for me to imagine him being with someone other than myself. I know it is selfish, but I can’t seem to move on. Help!!!
DR VENUS REPLIES:
You have to let go and start living. Stop thinking about him! Although easier said than done, there are ways to get through a heartbreak. Sitting in a corner and reminiscing about the ex is not one. Keep yourself occupied. Hang out with friends who know what you are going through and can support you without feeding you with unrealistic advice and/or hope.
Get involved with a physical activity, get a makeover or do something for your own confidence. Make sure when single, you are hot, if not hotter than when you were with him. There is no worse insult for yourself than being single and looking like Ju-on after crying your mascara out and having unkempt hair. There is also no better revenge than looking like a million bucks after a breakup!
NEVER waste your time waiting. If it is meant to be, it will happen in its own time, but waiting and not getting anywhere will dig you deeper into your grave of sadness and misery. Expecting and not getting may break your heart once more too. Cee Lo Green said it best with “Forget You”, best sung with Gwyneth Paltrow’s attitude in Glee, i.e. Snap it off and get on with life!
He is with someone now, accept it and move on, there really are plenty of other fishes in the sea which will swim you by if you only want cod! Go fishing, it is fun and may get you hooked
Get your mind occupied on something else other than him and very soon you’ll find yourself living again. Remember this – no man is worth the pain unless they are right there beside you for life.