Dear Dr. Venus,
I am having a problem with my boyfriend which I am not too sure how to resolve.
He is naturally close to women (although I don’t think he is cheating) and sometimes it is taking its toll on me. There are times it is so tempting to get closer to my male friends just to see how he reacts. But of course, logically I know that it would mean adding another problem to our relationship. How do I face the many girls in his life, in style?
DR VENUS REPLIES:
Sometimes women think too much and create situations in their head that don’t exist. This sounds like one such an issue which only needs to be played out in your head and not in real life. Having said that, one can never be too cautious, do trust your gut feel at the same time.
Enter a relationship with confidence, knowing you have thought carefully about your choice of men. Trust then needs to develop, hopefully he has proven himself faithful. If he has not been acting funny or hiding from you, or given you reason to doubt, do not create unnecessary stress on the relationship til you have proof or reason to doubt.
Some men have good healthy friendships with other women without needing to be in a relationship with them. If he is too touchy-feely, confides only in women, or spends too much time with them, then you may have a real issue. If the women he hangs out with are decent, it is less of a worry. Perhaps you may want to get to know them better too, you know what they say about keeping your “enemies” close. If they are his friends, you definitely should get to know them better.
Either way, if it is bothering you, sit him down and talk to him about it. If he loves you, he will be careful about his friendships with other women, or provide you with a proper explanation for his actions. Whatever it is, let him know, don’t hide it under the carpet.
Most importantly, don’t let it show when you meet up with those women. A green-eyed monster is not a pretty one. Carry your confidence over to your relationship and own the relationship at all times. Never play the same game by trying to get closer to your male friends just to trigger a reaction. Women should have more class than that!
(Disclaimer : Dr. Venus is not a doctor nor a certified psychologist or counsellor. All love advice dispensed is purely from the depths of her heart. Advice given is taken at your own risk, Dr. Venus and Venusbuzz.com bears no responsibilities)