Kisses are nearly universal. It is used in many ways as a greeting, sign of love or affection or a tentative first sign of attraction to another.
In some cultures, kissing on cheeks is a common greeting to say hello, goodbye or even thank you. The art of kissing is not necessarily something all of us are experts in but kissing is definitely something we all have done.
Kissing is a very personal and intimate gesture. For some of us, it is reserved for “special” occasions. For others, it’s a common way of expressing gratitude or as mentioned earlier, a way of saying hello or goodbye. It’s just a matter of preference, culture and of course, perspective.
What’s so important about that first kiss though? Well, for many of us, it’s everything! It could very well be something that could make or break that date or an indication of something promising to come.
There is evidence that suggests that through touch, taste and even smell, it all aids us in assessing the long-term potential of a mate. It’s also about compatibility. Once you kiss that special someone, a suite of chemical reactions happens in the brain and body, making sparks fly between the two of you!
Regardless of what form the kiss takes, kiss away because it’s truly a great way to connect with someone you love.
When was the last time someone cute flirted with you? And if you say not recently, don’t be so sure. You may have missed some signs that some flirt action was going on.
A new study published in Communication Research says that people aren’t all that great at judging flirtation, especially in first encounters. And interestingly enough, it seems women are a lot worse at realizing someone is flirting with them. It seems that men are more in tune with it.
Researchers from the University of Kansas picked 52 pairs of straight, single male and female college students to be part of a study on first impressions. Each pair spoke for 10-12 minutes and took turns asking questions about each other. Once the time was up, participants were separated to complete a post-interaction survey, which included questions about their own flirtation and the perceived flirtation of their conversation partner.
The study found: Guys were more accurate (twice more compared to the women) in detecting if a woman was flirting, 36% of men knew when a woman was being more-than-friendly, while only 18% of women knew that. But when flirting wasn’t occurring, both genders were much better at figuring that out.
Not all of us are in tune to find out if someone is flirting with us or not.
So, take note of these 5 Signs That Show He’s Flirting With You:
1. His body faces you
If his shoulders are facing you and lean in your direction, that’s a very positive sign. It shows he’s interested and when people are interested in you, they position their bodies towards where they want to go.
For e.g., if his body is pointed towards the door, it shows he’s not interested and don’t bother giving him more of your time. But if he faces you and is giving you his full attention, it’s a sure sign he’s interested.
2. He finds things you have in common
They say opposites attract and that is quite true in many instances. Commonalities are crucial when it comes to bonding with someone else, even more so when it comes to flirting as it helps not only make conversation easier but the more you have in common with that person, it’s easier to make a connection with them.
3. He holds eye contact with you
When a guy flirts with you, especially from across a room or even the next table, he’ll look directly at you. So, don’t miss this important point! If he locks in his gaze with you, it shows a direct approach of wanting to reach out and connect with you.
Brief eye contact is relatively normal. But when someone holds their gaze with you, it is clear that those extra few seconds of gaze locking is an extremely telling sign that he likes something about you and if he starts to make his approach towards you, it’s a winner!
4. He fidgets a little
Whilst women toss their hair or adjust their clothes when they flirt, men exhibit some of these preening behaviors too. Men tend to adjust their shirts or square their shoulders or even give their hair a once over. When they do these sorts of things, it’s an unconscious behavior that shows he’s interested. If he wasn’t interested, he wouldn’t be bothered in checking himself to ensure that he looks good to you.
5. He remembers little details
A sure tell sign that tells you he’s flirting is that if he remembers any information about you. If a guy cares about you or shows interest in you, he won’t forget you or things about you. He’ll remember what you told him because people naturally remember things about people who matter to them.
So, if you’ve been talking and he happens to bring up something you mentioned a little while ago, it shows he’s definitely paying attention to what you’re saying and the best part is, he’s taking the time to care to remember the details.
It’s not always straightforward or easy to find out if someone is keen on you in the dating game. Hopefully, with these signs, it’ll help you make that start and if things are going well, great! Just be sure of the signs that he’s falling for you so you’ll avoid disappointments or a heartbreak.
It seems that getting busy between the sheets can improve your health. If you need an excuse or two to get busy in the bedroom, the list below will have you covered in more ways than one.
Sex can be wonderful if you love someone, it’s pleasurable, fun and naturally, used for baby-making. But the best part is, science shows that there are actually quite a number of health benefits to having more sex!
Here are 5 Reasons To Have More Sex:
1. Sex burns calories
Besides going to the gym, sex is another sure way to burn those calories. Depending on how physical you can, sex can help increase muscle tone, increase your heart rate, and get your whole body working, according to Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., creator of lecturer in the department of psychology at Purdue University and author of The Psychology of Human Sexuality.
According to a study that was conducted in 2013 in which volunteers wore an activity tracker while they had sex, men burn about 101 calories and women burned about 69 calories. He did say that in these cases, sex lasted for about 25 minutes. Naturally, if sex lasted longer, the more calories you would burn.
2. Sex lowers your blood pressure and stress levels
In a 2005 Scottish study, volunteers recorded their sexual activity for two weeks and were given anxiety-inducing tasks such as public speaking or solving math problems out loud. Those who had sex in that period experienced small blood pressure spikes but recovered more quickly than those who didn’t have sex during that time.
The study shows two important benefits of regular sex: better blood pressure control and better stress management overall. It shows that sex not only lowers people’s perceived stress levels but it also appears to help them handle stress more effectively.
3. Sex strengthens your heart
As regular sex already lowers blood pressure and lowers stress levels, sex can also benefit the cardiovascular system in other ways. A British study found that men who had sex at least twice a week over a period of 20 years were less likely to have died from heart disease than those who had sex less than once a month. After 10 years, the study showed that their risk of sudden death was 50% less than the group who had less sex.
People who have healthy sex lives probably have overall healthy lifestyles. Sex also helps to regulate hormones like estrogen and testosterone, which impact all kinds of systems in the body, including the heart.
4. Sex boosts immunity
According to a study done by Wilkes University, having sex on a weekly basis stimulates the immune system and provides protection from the common cold. Researchers gave college students questionnaires about their sex lives and tested their saliva for levels of immunoglobulin A (IgA), an antibody that helps fight off viruses.
They found that the students who had sex once or twice a week had 30% more IgA than those who had sex less frequently. They also had higher IgA levels than those who had sex three times a week or more, suggesting that perhaps you can get too much of a good thing.
5. Sex relieves pain
According to a 2013 German study that having sex may help people feel better. When study volunteers chose to have sex during a headache, for example, about 60% of migraine sufferers and 30% of cluster headache sufferers reported partial or total relief.
Endorphins are released during an orgasm, as well as increased blood flow to the genital area which is likely to play a role in sex’s pain-relieving power. Pain sometimes has to do with blood flowing in one particular area, like the head when you have a headache. Sex can take some of that pressure off by redirecting the flow.
Dating used to a lot less complicated and also, more straightforward. It can also be a bit of a jungle out there for some of us.
Dating is sometimes harder than it should be, and frankly, after certain dates, you’d want to throw the napkin at your date’s face or just go get a drink because you so damn well deserve it enduring that horrendous date! But when dating is done right, it can be amazing. And often, those right kind of dates lead to wonderful relationships.
With these dating tips, it’ll help you survive the first date and hopefully, you’ll have a second one!
1. No pressure
Don’t hold yourself up to a high standard of perfection. A lot of us can be perfectionists in our lives and that can, unfortunately, come into our love lives. Remind yourself that you’re a great person to be with. It is impossible to keep up with appearances if you’re trying to be someone else and try to become what your date is looking for.
Be yourself. Show your true authentic side and be confident. Your date will get a true sense of who you are and if it jives well with your date, it will naturally progress to something more. So don’t try to someone you’re not. Be yourself, own it and be proud if being just you.
2. Agree to blind dates set up by friends
Be open to being set up by friends. No one knows you better than good friends. And if your friends love and care for you, they will certainly not set you up with someone totally inappropriate and that it’ll be with someone who they can vouch for.
However, be wise when it comes to blind dates. Lay down some rules. State what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not willing to accept, but do be reasonable as this is the first date! Make it clear to your friends that the way the date goes is not a reflection of them or of you or even of the person they are setting you up with. The chemistry between two people is very important and sometimes it’s there and sometimes, it isn’t. You cannot force chemistry so if it goes well, great! But if it doesn’t, that’s fine too.
3. Don’t stay glued to your mobile phone
We’ve seen couples be at dinner but not be with each other. Each of them is on their own mobile phones and not even talking to each other. Horrific! Don’t be like these couples and really if you’re looking for a relationship, one of the top ways of showing someone you’re not interested in them is by being on your phone! So stop Facebooking, tweeting, Instagramming, etc. Stopping for that short period of time won’t kill you.
Talk to the person and turn your phone on silent mode. Give your date your full attention and don’t check your phone unless you absolutely have to do so. It’s rude to keep checking your phone when you’re with someone. It shows disinterest in the other person and gives an impression that you’d rather be elsewhere. So be phone free on that first date, it’ll give you time to really get to know the person.
4. First impressions count
First impressions are important. It actually only takes a person a very short amount of time to decide if you’re interested in the other person or for them to decide whether they like you or not. So, bring on your best A-game the moment the date starts.
Make eye contact, smile, focus on what he’s saying and participate in the conversation. If you make a great first impression, it’s highly likely that there will be a second date. But don’t forget to also enjoy the date. Naturally, if you find that you don’t really like the person, don’t be rude. Be civil and kind. Good karma will come round!
5. No oversharing
Avoid oversharing at all costs! Certain people have this weird tendency to talk too much when they’re nervous. So be alert and check yourself that you don’t overshare. That’s definitely a sure way to guarantee your date will want to run a mile away from you!
Learn to censor yourself and keep to general topics. Don’t bring up your ex or ask about their past relationships! If you’re already starting to get serious about each other, that’s a different story but when it’s the first date, it needs to be casual yet comfortable for both parties.
6. Pay attention to how you speak to each other & to their body language
Talking is all well and good but pay attention to how it’s being said to you. If the person is into you, you’ll find that they tend to use similar words to what you use and that their tone of voice is calm. When they speak to you, you can clearly see signs that they are interested in what you have to say and of course, there is a lot of eye contact with you. Learn to read their body language as body language can show signs of attraction.
Having eye contact with you shows that they are giving you the priority and if their body tends to face towards you and not away from you, it shows that they are interested in getting to know you and what they want to be included in your “space”.
7. If you don’t succeed, try and try again
Dating can be tiresome at times but it’s also a way of learning about ourselves and to really find out what you want in a partner. You don’t have to go on a dating marathon but it is important to get out there, especially if you’re fixed in your ways or stuck in a dating rut.
If you want a relationship, be proactive about it. Be open and don’t let prejudice get in your way of getting to know people. And if the dates don’t go so well, that’s fine as it’s a learning experience. It doesn’t mean you give up. Try again. You never know, the right person may be just around the corner.
8. Don’t play it too cool
Yes, don’t be such a cool cat! Your date can’t mind read and needs to know if you’re actually interested or not. Men are more attracted to responsive women, especially to women who are kind and warm right from the start. Now, that doesn’t mean you go all out and go a bit too eager, i.e. you don’t have to laugh at his jokes if they’re not funny or be agreeable if their points of view are just not in tune with yours.
It does help to give your date a clue if you like the person or not by being responsive in a timely manner, such as telling your date how much fun you’re having or that you’re enjoying the meal and what a pleasant surprise this date is for you. Being nice is definitely a turn on so forget about playing it cool! Be warm and hopefully, that first date will turn into something more.
Relationships can be a truly beautiful thing between two people who love and care deeply for each other but nothing can stay rose-tinted for long. It takes effort to make it work.
Some of us find it a mind-blowing ride with so many great experiences in the “honeymoon stage” of a relationship. Some of us have it a little harder, going through an emotional roller coaster ride. Whatever kind of relationship you’re in, we all go through that “honeymoon stage”, where love is blind and life does seem like a bed of roses.
Even the most solid couples go through difficulties at some point in their relationship. There are certain issues which are unacceptable and are good reasons for you to leave. For e.g., if your partner doesn’t want to be involved in your family or get to know them better, there isn’t much of a future there. Or if your partner doesn’t care enough to take time out from his schedule to spend time with you, it also doesn’t give your future much hope as it shows he doesn’t care enough. Or if your partner is abusive in any way, be it verbally, physically, mentally, it’s no excuse to stay. Leave. You deserve way better.
No one can list out a complete list of what not to do in a relationship or what can screw up true love. But we can try to find out what’s wrong, avoid them as best as possible so that we can do our best to make things work in our relationship.
Here are the 5 Relationship Killers To Look Out For:
1. Friends & Family
If you and your partner don’t get along with friends and family from each other’s side, there will very likely be trouble. A huge part of your life is made up of your friends and family. You literally “marry” into each other’s lives once your relationship starts to get serious. So, it’s only natural to be apart of each other’s lives in every sense of the word, which includes friends and family.
It is impossible to like every single one of the friends and family of your partner. Believe us, there will be some clashes but in all that, it is important to maintain a friendly relationship with the people your partner is closest to. This shows tolerance and also shows that you care enough to deal with things that are not easy to deal with but yet are willing to do so for the sake of the other. It will help your relationship go the distance.
For those of us who have been in a relationship for a while, it is only natural that we get comfortable with each other. That’s a good thing because it is vital for a couple to feel at ease with each other. But if one gets too comfortable, that’s not great because that’s when complacency starts to set in. That’s when people tend to take each other for granted and resentment starts to creep in.
Being friends with each other in a relationship is very important because one is not just a lover but also a friend to a life partner. However, all good things in life need regular maintenance. Don’t let things slide with each other. Remember to show appreciation to each other, to go out on date nights or simply to say thank you to each other. Quite a number of people forget the simplest things to do with each other and at times, that’s what makes or breaks a relationship
3. Life Stresses
When we become part of a couple, we tend to get into a comfortable “just us two” scenario. Sometimes, that state of coupledom can close the two of you off from the rest of the world, which is not necessarily a good thing. Whilst you’re both in this happy state of mind being “just us two”, and when real life starts to crack the surface, things start crumbling.
Issues like work issues, money issues, family problems, children from past relationships or marriages and even petty domestic issues (if the couple is living together) all get magnified tenfold. These issues can cause strains on relationships. And if one isn’t careful to take stock of these issues and if things are not discussed with each other, it leads to trouble.
4. Different aspirations and goals
Over time, if couples are not careful, they can start to drift apart and living separate lives from each other can become second nature, which can spell disaster. It could be due to a variety of things such as career demands, change of careers, lack of communication, etc. Once these other things in life start to take a more significant presence in one’s life, it could lead to a meltdown in the relationship.
It is healthy for individuals in a relationship to have their own lives and goals to aspire to. However, if one keeps living life based on what one only aspires to for their own benefit and not take their partner into consideration, it clearly shows that there is no “we” but a lot of “me” in the relationship. When that is left unchecked, someone is going to feel left behind or left out and eventually, it will lead to one of them to choose between their aspirations and their significant other.
5. The past
People who continue to dwell or to live in the past will find it impossible to move on with their lives. If one of you in the relationship keeps comparing your new relationship to your previous ones, the future of your new relationship does not look promising. It is of course, very relevant and important for all of us to learn from our past mistakes as one can always learn how to do things better next time.
If we keep dwelling on the past, moving forward will not be possible. Your new relationship is exactly that, something new. Thus, it’s a new slate, a new beginning for both of you. Dragging up past hurts from the previous relationships into your new one is a formula for failure.
Sometimes, a few of us have a habit of bringing up past issues that you’ve had a few weeks or a few months ago each time you both have a disagreement or an argument. That too does not help the situation but in fact, aggravates the situation further. If a couple faces the issues and has dealt with it, one should not bring it up again (not without good reason anyway). If you want your relationship to go the long-distance, it is imperative that once a problem or issue has been dealt with, you both decide to move on from that and focus on the future.
Yes, relationships are hard work but if you really love that special someone, making the effort to make it work between you is worth it. To be loved and to be able to love in return is a privilege.
Not everyone is fortunate to have that and if you’re blessed to have a relationship in your life, embrace it wholeheartedly with the good and the bad. Here are some suggestions on how to make love last in your relationship.
Falling in love is a wonderful thing that everyone should hopefully get to experience at some point in their lives. However, love can also be a rather complicated thing and one can get mixed signals at times.
So, to make it hopefully less complicated, we came up with 10 signs that show he’s falling for you:
1. He goes out of his way for you
Men in general like things simple and uncomplicated and they also like to take shortcuts to things.
So does your guy go out of his way for you? Go that extra mile just to make you happy or goes to get you something you wanted but you didn’t have time to get it? If so, it’s a good sign that he cares for you and is starting to have deeper feelings for you.
2. He makes time for you
If you’re dating someone, it’s only natural that you’d want to be with them as often as possible because you enjoy spending time with them.
So instead of going out with his friends and when he chooses instead to go out with you, especially if it means he’s missing out on doing one of his hobbies (missing that football match is a big deal, ladies) or that he’s carving time out especially for you in his busy schedule, it shows he’s giving you first priority and that he may very well be falling for you.
3. He smiles at you
Yes, everyone smiles but when a man likes someone, the smile is a little different. You can tell if it’s a flirty smile or if it’s a cheeky smile. And you can also tell if it’s a caring type of smile. Do his eyes light up when he smiles at you? Because if he does, that definitely is a very good sign.
4. He can talk to you for a long time
Men do not like to “talk things through” when they are upset. Some men don’t even like to talk at all, and when faced with that notion of having to talk, some run a mile!
However, when they do find someone they like and enjoy spending time with them, things change. They open up and talk more. So if you notice that special someone you’re dating has longer chats with you, it’s a tell-tale sign that he’s into you.
5. He gives you gifts
Ok, so quite a lot of people give gifts to other people and it may not be anything to take special note of. However, if a man gives you a gift and he also shows a number of the signs mentioned here, it’s very likely that you may have found yourself a significant other. And the more special or symbolic the gift, the more you mean to him.
6. He takes you out on a date and often asks you to choose the type of date to go on
Going out for a date is one thing. But if he not only takes you out for a meal but asks if there is anywhere specific you’d like to go to or what you’d like to do (especially if it also means watching a chick flick or going to some music which he has no interest in), it means that he wants you to have a good time with him and that your comfort and enjoyment matters to him.
And frankly, if he is willing to sit through things which are of no interest to him but is doing it for you anyway, it really shows that you’ve got a special place in his heart.
7. He sends you messages for no reason other than to say hi
Not every man likes sending messages to people to say hi. It’s not really a done thing with most men. In fact, most men are quite straight to the point types and thus, they don’t message anyone just to say hi but rather, if they do message someone, it is specifically for a purpose.
So if he’s sending you a message just to say hi, just to see how you’re doing or just to wish you goodnight, you can be sure that you’re on the right track to something special.
8. He trusts you and you trust him in return
Trust your gut instinct when it comes to your feelings, especially who you can trust and who you cannot trust. Trust is essential in any relationship and friendship.
If both of you trust each other and start to share important details of your life with each other, it shows that the person is willing to invest in you and that the person trusts you enough to share part of their life with you. Trust is a must-have in every relationship.
9. He doesn’t act like he owns or controls you
When a man starts to dictate on what he wants you to do, how he wants you to dress or that he wants to control things in your life, that my friends, is NOT love. That is a clear sign of trouble because it shows obsession. Being in a controlling relationship never has happy endings so be careful not to fall into this trap as some people fall into it easily without them realizing it.
If the man acts that he does not control you, and tells you to do what you want except dating other men, it means that he wants exclusivity with you.
10. You can just tell
When a man is starting to fall in love with you, ladies, you can just tell! The way he looks at you, the way he speaks with and to you, the way he walks with you, the small gestures of affection shown to you, just about everything is different when he’s with you compared to other people.
And when you start to see these signs, it’s quite definite that he’s starting to fall for you.
These are good signs that your man is starting to be serious about you. Chances are high if he fits into some if not all the signs mentioned here. It shows that he may be starting to fall in love with you. Hopefully, he’ll be in it with you for the long haul too.
So you’re dating a guy for some time and things seem like they’re going great. The chemistry is hot, you’ve loads to talk about but then, something suddenly changes.
He stops messaging you, stops calling you and begins changing plans often at the last minute. He also doesn’t pay much attention to you when you talk or seem to always have something more important going on at work that he needs to take care of. The next thing you know, you hear from someone else that he is dating someone else and he didn’t even have the decency to tell you.
So how can you tell if a guy just isn’t that into you? What are the tell-tale signs so you don’t get that heart of yours broken anymore?
Here are 10 Signs That Show He’s Not That Into You :
1. He’s not around you
This is probably the most obvious sign that lets you know if a guy is into you or not. If he’s not that into you, he won’t be around you. If he’s keen, he’ll find reasons to be with you. In fact, he’ll be pretty determined to make time to be with you.
So if his attitude towards you changes from making the time to be around you to suddenly not making it a point to take the time for you, he’s cooled off.
2. He’s not interested in talking to you
Frankly, it cannot get any more straightforward than this. If he doesn’t have any interest in you, he won’t be bothered to talk to you. Sometimes, we make this to be an act of shyness and because of that, he doesn’t make a move. Yes, that can be true in some cases but in general, especially if you’ve been seeing him for a while and he has no interest in talking to you, it means he has zero interest in you.
To be fair, you’ll need to see if he gets opportunities to text or calls you and if you find out that he does have the opportunities but yet doesn’t make the effort to do so, it’s clear it’s time to move on.
3. He only texts you when he’s drunk
Or when he only wants to hook up. Other than that, if you find you’re the one who mainly does the initiating of communication, be it to meet up or to have a chat, chances are that he obviously isn’t keen on anything else but a hookup.
4. He doesn’t want to meet your friends and family
When a guy is starting to get serious with someone, meeting the friends and family bit will eventually come up. Naturally, not all men look forward to this “right of passage” in any relationship but if he’s invested in the relationship with you, he will take the time and effort to meet the people who are important to you.
So, if you’ve been dating a guy who is not investing his time with you or is bothered to get to know your friends and family, it’s a clear sign that he’s not ready to move into serious relationship territory. Time to cut the ties.
5. He’s got the bad body language
If he avoids eye contact with you, sits with his body away from you, doesn’t try to keep the conversation flowing or generally maintains a distance from you, it’s quite clear that he’s not interested in you. Or worse, is on his mobile phone when you’re talking to him, it’s a no go.
Believe us, if he is interested in you, he will not keep his distance from you but will want to initiate contact or ways to get to know you as much as possible. If he avoids eye contact, sits with his body away from you, doesn’t try to keep the conversation going, or generally maintains a distance from you, you can take all of these as signs that he’s not interested.
6. He’s great at ghosting
And by this, we don’t mean him being the best ghost-like figure during Halloween. But ghosting means that when you’re dating a guy and then poof! He suddenly goes AWOL on you.
If a guy disappears for any amount of time, cancels on you, doesn’t reply calls and message or does the “FFK” (Fong Fei Kei aka standing you up) on you, you can safely bet that he’s losing interest in you. His ghosting act is his way of hoping that he can fade away without a big dramatic conversation (or so he thinks) with you.
7. He doesn’t support you
When you’re going through a tough day, you’d want to talk it out and the man you’re dating ought to be that pillar of support to you. He should be the person you can count on to talk to, to have that shoulder to cry on if needed and will be someone who is willing to listen.
When the going gets a little rockier than usual and he’s not bothered to give you the time of day or even worse, nowhere to be found, it’s a sure sign that he’s not in this for the long haul.
8. He doesn’t include you in his life
If you’ve been dating for a while, and have yet to meet any of his friends and family, it doesn’t look promising. It could very well be a sign that he’s not sure that he wants to let you into his life completely. When a guy is serious about a relationship, he will want to eventually introduce her to his inner circle of friends, especially those closest to him.
And if you find that this isn’t happening, it might do you some good to take a step back and take a good look at things. Be smart and protect your heart. It’s too precious to waste on someone who isn’t going to invest in you in return.
9. He doesn’t make time for you
These days, being busy at or with work is fairly common. It can be unfair for you to think he doesn’t take the time for you or that he should never cancel plans on you. However, if he is constantly using work as an excuse not to spend time with you or that he keeps canceling plans all the time, something is just not right.
Remember, if you are important to him, he would make the time. He’ll try to see you for a short dinner or even for a quick cup of coffee if he cannot spend the whole day or night with you. In other words, you’ll see that he’s making an effort to see you. If you find that no effort is made to see you at all but just a whole lot of cancellations and excuses, it should ring alarm bells.
10. You’ve got that gut feeling
Don’t ever discount a woman’s intuition. It’s there for a reason. Most of women folk know when we force an issue. For e.g. when we are calling or texting too much and when our feelings are not being reciprocated for some reason or other, and you find he just doesn’t respond. No matter how much you may want it to work out, sometimes things just pan out.
If you’ve got that gut feeling telling you that this is not working out, listen to your heart and that gut feeling. It is rarely wrong.
It is important to know that no man is worth going all “Fatal Attraction” for, and neither should you feel unworthy of him. Everyone deserves to be loved and cherished. No one in a relationship should feel short-changed in any way.
If you feel like you are being short-changed, it’s time to cut those ties and find the right one. There are always other fish in the sea.
We all love someone and truly, that is one of the best feelings of all. But how do we continue to ensure that we make that love last? It takes two to tango as some say. But in order for things to work and to continue to grow in love, it takes a conscious effort.
What is love? People have different definitions of it. Love can be a variety of feelings, states of minds and attitudes that can range from interpersonal affection to pleasure. It can also be a strong emotional connection and a personal attachment to someone.
Whatever it is, all of us have experienced love in some way and frankly, to us, it’s one of the best things in life – to be loved by someone.
Here are 5 Ways To Help Make Love Last :
1. Fondness and admiration – don’t let the romance die out because a little can go a long way.
A happy couple stays together. And they exude their happiness in different ways. They share their lives with each other and do it with warmth, mutual respect and deep affection for each other.
They also pay attention to each other, never neglecting the other. And in paying attention to their partner, fondness and admiration come in naturally.
2. There is no “I” in “Team” – in unity, couples can go the long distance.
Happy couples tend to do everything together and often refer to themselves as “we”, not really focusing on the “I” factor in the relationship. That partnership that they have is quite palpable. It can be a little irritating if you’re one of those couples that do everything together but there’s something to be said of that. Don’t get us wrong, it doesn’t mean that if you don’t say “we” a lot means that your relationship sucks. Because there are all kinds of relationships and many find various ways to make things work.
Every relationship is different. The couples that do stay together are focused on the “we” and not the “I” part. And in doing so, they make it work together as a team.
3. Knowing your partner – it shows love in more than ways than one by knowing them better.
How well do you know your partner? And do we care enough to get to really know them well? So you don’t know what type of hair conditioner she uses or what kind of razors he likes to get and that’s not that big a deal. But it does go to show the attention that you pay to little details in your partner’s life. Love is not all a bed of roses and champagne, it’s also about the little practical things in life. Pay attention or you’ll get the “You don’t even know me” complaint!
Knowing what makes each other tick, what matters to your partner, what saddens him or her or what really makes them happy can make a big difference in your relationship. Couples who don’t get to know their partners will eventually lose sight of their partner and of their lives together, making them drift apart. So take the time to get to know each other. You’ll see that it’s worth the effort.
4. Strength comes from adversity – don’t allow things to breakdown that relationship.
Couples who don’t pull together in times of hardship or don’t learn together from negative experiences will find it hard for their relationship to go the long haul. There’s no sense of unity and without unity in any relationship, there won’t be a happy ending. People go through all sorts of life experiences, good and bad. In love, we share the good and bad together. Hence, why strength comes from adversity.
Happy couples will find strength and also a sense of pride in making it through together (not in the snobbish sense but it’s a sense of achievement we’re talking about). They’ll be able to steer their own course together with better direction and continue to aim and aspire for better things together. How one turns a tough situation into a positive lesson is key in relationship health. It’s not easy but that’s also part of the love journey, to be in it together through the good times and the bad.
5. Disappointment vs. satisfaction – learn to recognize the signs before it’s too late
When couples go through rocky times and are at the danger of separating, at least one of them, if not both of them will have multiple complaints and disappointments about the relationship. When disappointments are not expressed to the other, there is a major communication breakdown in the relationship.
Open communication between partners is vital to maintain a healthy relationship. Reviewing disappointments should not be seen as a criticism but rather, look at it as a checkpoint in seeing what one can learn from it so it can progress forward. Through that, disappointment can be resolved more easily and hopefully, satisfaction will come through. Open the door for communication. True love stands the test of time and disappointments.
Relationships are a complicated thing. But it also can be a beautiful thing. Rifts can be undone but it takes work. Early intervention can help work things out. Don’t be afraid to talk it out.
Ok, so it can be sometimes a pain to “have that talk” but really, if you love someone, you’ll be willing to go the distance. Great things take time and effort. A lot of us do so well at so many things, why not make the success of our relationship the best life achievement we’ve ever done.
It’s not like we can control our feelings but somehow, we always end up falling in love with the wrong man. Why?
Chemistry is a funny thing. Many of us go into a relationship based on sparks. If you feel “it”, you think it’s the right thing to do but if you don’t, then you are inclined to dismiss a potential partner. It doesn’t matter if he is honest, grounded, responsible, and the whole package deal, because the spark of chemistry seems to be the “be-all, end-all” part of a relationship.
But here lies the problem. Chemistry can be strange and misleading. What you may relate to as an attraction to a certain someone is not necessarily good for you. For example, bad boys are sexy men but they don’t always make good partners.
The subconscious mind tends to draw us to a particular kind of person who trigger a familiar feeling. It’s sort of like a comfort zone. You’re motivated to go after or be attracted to the wrong people because it feels “safe.”
If you want to break the bad habit of falling for the unavailable men or those with emotional baggage, abusers, liars, control freaks and the list goes on, you should start analyzing whether the problem is you. For example, these are five telling reasons why you always pick the wrong guy: –
We accept the love we think we deserve – that’s a quote made famous in The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, which speaks of the cold truth. Stop settling for less! If you want someone to treat you the way you want to be treated and respect you the way you think he should, don’t put up with bad behavior and make a choice to stand for what or who you want.
You ignore the warning signs
Perhaps, it’s a case of “see it believe it” and this can be blinding. You will ignore the obvious red flags and subconsciously choose the same heartache over and over again. Warning signs are there to keep you safe and help you make wise decisions. And of course, sometimes you go into a relationship thinking you can change him, but rarely this brings any happy ending.
You get involved for the short term
If you’re always chasing fun and excitement, then your kind of man will be someone impulsive and non-committal. While there’s nothing wrong with a guy like this, it’s certain that you won’t be looking past the short-term benefits of dating him. If you truly want someone for the long haul, you need to look at what qualities he should possess and pursue that with the right man.
You are lonely
When you crave the comforts of love and affection, you are bound to justify your way through a lot of issues and make bad decisions. A relationship should not exist solely to make you feel good about yourself. If you go out with someone just because you’re lonely, it is likely that you’re going to be lowering your standards and accepting bad behaviors. This goes back to the settling part.
You have a theme
If you examine closely, you may notice that there is a common theme in your relationships or a dating pattern. Why else do you always end up with Mr. Wrong? Identify the underlying fear you’re likely facing when it comes to your love life. It could be your own fear of commitment driving you to choose the wrong ones or perhaps, you love drama, a good challenge, excitement, etc. Face the issues so you can break the bad pattern.
You’ve lost that loving feeling. Why is this happening?
Love is a very confusing feeling. Falling out of love can be as perplexing as falling in love. Where you once felt deep affection has now turned into dread. You find yourself questioning and reasoning about everything.
The fact is the love bubble does burst and sometimes people fall out of love. Here are some cold truths why:
One of the common reasons why couples fall out of love is because they no longer feel passionate about the person they’re with. When you both get caught up in your protective and controlling habits, it won’t be long before your excitement for each other starts to diminish.
Passion can only stay alive in a relationship when each partner is open to accepting and learning. Meaning you accept the flaws and learn about yourself and each other as it creates aliveness, so your relationship is always fresh and you can maintain a level of intimacy.
The first time you feel a connection with someone, you operate on an ‘openness’ level where you share “you” at your best – loving, caring, thoughtful, fun to be with, etc. But as time goes by, things happen that trigger fears – of losing your partner and losing yourself.
Perhaps then, you go into a fear of rejection mode. You become more demanding or clingy and your partner feels the need to withdraw himself to protect against his fear of being controlled or smothered. Fear then takes on as a vicious cycle of protecting rather than learning, growing and sharing your love with each other.
When you are stuck in a negative pattern, you tend to adopt a selfish and controlling behavior. You may feel the need to protect yourself in ways that involve anger, blame, attack, defensiveness, withdrawal, compliance, resistance or indifference.
No relationship can survive if you are using anger or blame to try to have some degree of control over your partner.
Too much drama can certainly have a negative effect on a couple as love cannot flourish when resentment takes over. When one or both of you are closed and stubborn in your own ways, the conflict won’t get solved and the relationship feels exhausting after a while.
It can’t be stressed how important conflict resolution is to build a steady and understanding relationship. This is when you have your own and your partner’s good at heart, you are willing to take responsibility for your feelings.
Lack of affection
It’s normal to get used to the people we’re with or the routine of being with someone. But when you take each other for granted, you can’t assume that love is forever. What you need to realize is that body language plays a significant role and speaks volumes about a relationship.
Physical intimacy is what keeps the attraction towards each other strong. When emotional and sexual disconnections become the norm, the relationship suddenly feels stale and flat, and you may turn cold towards your partner.